| As you get older your bodily functions and your | | | | more than they used to. However, am I being |
| brain start to slow down. I guess it's a way of | | | | completely unreasonable? I still do the same things |
| preparing for retirement! Just as Einstein might | | | | with my work PC as I did 30 years ago. I use the |
| have confirmed, this drop off in pace is relative. | | | | same basic functions: word processor, |
| As the body slows, so all around it seems faster. | | | | spreadsheet and database. I know it's boring, but |
| Children run around like sparrows flitting from | | | | that's all I want and all I have ever wanted, so |
| bough to bough. Cars, hours, trains and days | | | | the extra overhead today's PCs carry is largely |
| move along ever faster.Now, although I'm only in | | | | wasted on me, I'm afraid. Admittedly I have a PC |
| my middle age, a curious things has started to | | | | for home use on which I play music or watch |
| happen. Perhaps I'm going completely ga-ga, but | | | | DVDs, but I was perfectly able to listen to music |
| as the years have passed, there are certain | | | | on CDs before my all-singing and dancing PC |
| things that have not speeded up at all - in fact | | | | came alone (or cassettes and vinyl if we go back |
| they have slowed down. I am referring to | | | | far enough). I could also watch films on video.OK, |
| anything electronic.Back in the last millennium, I | | | | so I've probably gone too far and left my |
| used to have a Dos-based personal computer. | | | | argument a little unbalanced. I'll draw back a little. I'll |
| When you switched it on, it just came on. OK the | | | | accept PCs with all the graphics, security checks |
| only software that loaded was the on-board dos | | | | and other gizmos. I'll also accept cars, radios, |
| (disc operating system) program, but loading a | | | | cameras and TVs with on-board micro-chips that |
| spreadsheet from a floppy disc would only take a | | | | are designed to add to my experience of these |
| few seconds - and I was up and running. | | | | devices. But please please, can someone work on |
| Nowadays my PC needs plenty of notice. I press | | | | the problem of making them work as soon as |
| the button and then go and make a coffee. I | | | | you turn them on - just like in the old days |
| think this should be mandatory. The PCs should be | | | | before progress came and slowed everything |
| programmed so that, as soon as you press the | | | | down.There are some electrical things that still |
| "on" button, it emits the message: "now go and | | | | work right away - as soon as they are plugged in. |
| make yourself some sweet coffee" (on 2nd | | | | For example, electric lights...unless, of course, you |
| thoughts, that could add another 2 minutes to its | | | | use the long-life bulbs. Ah, I've just thought of |
| start-up time, so forget it). Oh, and what about | | | | one: the kettle. That surely comes on as soon as |
| my printer? What happened there? That's even | | | | you plug it in, doesn't it? And there is something |
| worse. Printing the first document of the day is a | | | | else: one product that performs better than ever |
| major event. I am inclined to invite the neighbours | | | | and still comes on as soon as it's plugged in - and |
| round for tea and cakes and have a little | | | | that is our very own Insectocutor Fly Killer Unit. |
| printer-starting party while we wait.This problem is | | | | Insectocutor have been manufacturing fly killer |
| not just confined to my computer. My TV seems | | | | machines since the 1960's. They are robust and |
| to take forever to get started. Even my radio | | | | built to last. They work by attracting flies using a |
| takes longer to turn on than it used to. Down at | | | | uv bulb. The flies are then killed by coming into |
| my local grocery store, passing products through | | | | contact with an electrified grid or a very strong |
| the checkout seems to take longer as well. When | | | | glue board. For example, the IND41 is an industrial |
| I pay by credit card, sometimes a whole queue | | | | fly killer that can cover a range of 350 square |
| of shoppers is held up while the system calls up | | | | metres. The good news is that Insectocutor |
| the bank for authorisation (perhaps it's just me - | | | | make them and the television and PC |
| perhaps I have a guilty face).Have I mentioned | | | | manufacturers do not. You can just imagine the |
| the car yet? No? Well this is another victim of | | | | flies queuing up to get killed, kind of circling around |
| progress. I used to turn a key and it would simply | | | | the room in airport stack style, while the machine |
| start. Nowadays a multitude of on-board systems | | | | takes its time to warm up, saying "go and help |
| are activated and I am asked to "wait please" by | | | | yourself to some sweet coffee".Fly killers from |
| a friendly voice.Yes I am being simplistic - yes I | | | | Insectocutor are |
| know that some of these gadgets can do a lot | | | | manufactured to the highest standard. |